Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
