ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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