I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
