I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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