I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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