I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
