Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
