so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
