So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
