Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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