He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
