i jhust puked up my retainher.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Non-Jews are for practice
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
