i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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