u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
