I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
