the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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