Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
