Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
