I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
