I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
