We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
