omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
