halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
