cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
