Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
