Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
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