It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
