dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
