My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
