I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
