things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
