I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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