I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
