Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
