I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
