This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
