Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The air taste purple.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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