it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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