Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
