When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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