Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
