I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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