Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
