fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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