There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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