Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
