bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
