So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
