so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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