just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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