ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
