Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
