I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
