Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
